Life is Short

So i flunked out of X-factor in the precasting. PRECASTING!! My god... I thought i would at least get through that... Guess that goes to show you never know what will happen. And i flunked out because i didnt "connect" with the judges as an audience. Note, they DID quite like my singing voice. But apparently that wasn´t enough for them. Shame. What to do. Better next time... if there is a next time.. we´ll see, wont we?

So this is it.

On the 28th of October, exactly one month from today, I'll be going to Århus for the pre-casting for X-factor. And im so bleeding nervous already I can barely type. Or maybe its just excitement... im not sure. I just hope that all the shakes and quivers run themselves out before the 28th, and that by then ill be as cool as a cucumber in the fridge and ill blow their minds to never never land. One can hope...

But for serious... i hope i make it. And all of you can do some serious wishing (or praying, if thats the kind of thing your into) that i do magically and that my nerves stay where they are (instead of attatching themselves to the ceiling and doing the polka)...

Im just waiting... and hoping... the worst i can get is a no... and in that case ill just go back again next year. and the next, and the next, until they let me through.

Cheers for winning.

Life is dull and boring without hardships to make it unique.

My heart's in a million pieces, and I cant seem to find them all.

Yayy im alive! Well... am i? well. Sorta. And life is intersting. yup. That it is. And now I can fish!! Well, sorta. I caught a few things once, but they were all too small and i couldnt be bothered to make a fire out of driftwood and grill them right there and then... so yeah. Still a newbie.
I spend most of my freetime playing computer games now. I know some of you will quickly fish for those rotten tomatoes but for serious, try it for yourself before you point the finger. (and for those who are secretly interested in what im atempting to play: Diablo, World of Warcraft, SW Knights of the Old Republic. Oh, and bejewled :D) again, no excuse for my not blogging. I guess it the blogging just petered out with the lack of meaning in life.

I am officially disturbed and seriously ashaimed of myself for how little I´ve been blogging (yes, I know I´ve said it countless times before...) the shamefull truth is that facebook has conquered my previous blogging hours.. and I intend to rectify that. I spend countless minutes sitting in front of facebook, clicking "refresh" every minute or two to see if someone has updated, when I really should be putting my brain to use and coming up with something interesting to say. I change my facebook status 10 times in a hour (no one can ever keep up with them) when i really could just be putting those brilliant ideas into a blog post. I make the excuse that I cant think up anything interesting to say, but really, that´s not quite true. I´m always thinking up cool and amusing (yes, amusing) things, but blogging has been pushed to the back-burner therefore I dont even think about it now. As I said before - Shameful. So. I Promise to update my blog at least once daily from now on. I´m sure I´ll find something at least remotely interesting... in a grand attempt to bring all you readers back to me... (and hopefully to harvest a few new ones.)

Whiskyfist, Audioguru, Human Stain!! What could be better? Seriously. I ask you.

My heart has detached itself from IBD´s Requiem For a Dream (soz guys) only to securely leech itself onto the newest number by Whiskyfist, Human Stain. Why, you ask? Well geezz... go check for yourself!! (dont make me do all the work for you)

AG´s totally awesome growl on that thing is something to die for. At least, I think. It´s all so perfect... deep words fail me. Maybe I´m just biased. But it´s not often that a song hits me so hard that I have to listen to it day and night or my brain will implode. Not to mention that the poster for the song is also equally wicked. 

Seriously - look:

(click it to see a bigger version)

And now.. without further ado (like I ever give further ado...)

WHISKYFIST´S HUMAN STAIN!!...........

HERE

And the link to their site in general

You can thank me later...

AG sorry if this doesnt come up to your expectations of good advertizing. But as I said before, deep words fail me. Human stain is already on my phone and it is now the main staple for my music diet on the 4 hours of bus I must endure every day. They say the best tool for selling something is being personally convinced of its goodness. And I am personally convinced. 532% maybe even 533%.

He´s done it again. Another song.. yes yes. And you´ve all been waiting for it, havent you? Dont you worry, if you dont see it here, you´ll see it shamelessly advertized on everyone else´s blogs, probably  under "anonymous" (because im far too much of a pussy to bother with all the ensuing hate mail, and too busy atempting to blow smoke rings to care - dont ask)

I really cannot belive I am letting my blogging slide like such. I am such a tool. I could excuse myself for the fact that I have no internet yet, but I seem to be able to keep up with everything else quite well... so the only explanation for my neglect is the fact that I am, in fact, a tool.

I'm sure, though, that youll forgive me (if there's even any of you left by now...) once i share this freakishly interesting nugget of information with you.

My flat almost burnt down. It was right out of the movies, I tell you. Picture this (preferably not TOO vividly...): half naked female groggily woken in the early hours of the morning by excited pounding on her front door, fumbles out of bed while wrapping towel around her for modesty's sake. She also happens to notice the lights outside her windows and guesses that the garbage men must have a problem with the disposal again. Cant figure out for the life of her why they'd be banging on her door of all people though.

She opens the door and is greeted by a man in a gas mask. He happens to be all she can see. The rest is entirely smoked out. So she scrambles to put clothes on and fights back panic, trying to remember exactly WHAT it was in LWG that she should remember in the instance of a fire. She is very lucky that she doesnt know that the fire is in fact right on the other side of the wall. She grabs her computer, (forgetting the cable, stupid girl) phone, keys, wallet, and jacket (clever enough, i suppose... nice of LWG to clarify that you should bring your valuables with you, also in the case that your house DOESNT burn down and ends up unlocked and unoccupied... and a perfect target for other catastrophies like horrid people stealing things). She was, of course, stupid enough to worry that the hours she spent straightening her hair would be ruined by the misty drizzle outside, and also was stupid enough to ask, "should I go out the door or the window?"

End of story being - afore said flat and female are both intact, the building no longer smells like old people (though I dont really know how long that's going to last), and there are black foot prints all over the halls, leading to the flat right next to mine. Good thing I didnt know. But I should have guessed. Actually, I did. And I was right.

The positive point of it all - i got to sleep for hours in my dads house, with a very VERY nice duve and 4 feather pillows, and I didnt have to go to school. How champion is that?

On an interesting note, I had arranged with a friend the day before to meet up the next day before school. I jokingly mentioned that I would most certainly be there at the apointed time, UNLESS some catastrophy like a fire happened to occure.

Never, NEVER joke. My dad has pictures and a video clip. I wasnt smart enough to grab my camera. Probably because I have no idea where it is and I was worrying too much about my hair.

Simply for shits and giggles i´ve decided to stop being such an ass and update this thing (I hold facebook to blame). Woot. My life isnt interesting anymore? Neh... its plenty interesting.. I know you´re just dying to know aaaaall about it.

A project I had today. Pretty much, I had to write a friend, and invite them for a week trip with my family to a summer house - here is the madness (translation will follow):

Hej Marie,
Hvordan går det? Min mor og far har lånt et sommerhus i Tisvilde næste uge. Jeg vil tage med dem. Vil do komme med mig til Tisvilde næste uge? Du kan også tage din kæreste med. Jeg lover at hente dig på stationen. Kan du komme kl. 14 på fridag? Send mig en sms eller mail og fortæl om du vil med.
Hej hej
Melissa

TRANSLATION: Hey Maria, hows it going? My mom and dad have rented a summerhouse in Tisvilde next week. I'm going along. Can you come with me to Tisvilde next week? You can bring your boyfriend along too. I promise to pick you up at the station. Can you come at 14:00 on Friday? Send me an sms or email about what you think.
Bye
Melissa


And here is the reply... (written by me as well)



Hej Melissa
Jeg synes det er en godt idé. Jeg vil komme med dig til Tisvilde. Men min kæreste kan ikke kom. Han er arbejde den weekenden. Jeg vil komme kl. 14 på Fridag. Vi ses.
Marie.

TRANSLATION: Hey Melissa, I think that's a good idea. I WILL come with you till Tisvilde. But my boyfriend can't come. He's working that weekend. I'll come at 14:00 on Friday. See you
Maria

I'm brilliant, arent I? :D I think I'm starting to realize how fast this is going. I've been in school for a whole 2 months. And not long months either. My teacher's coming with MORE excersizes for me to do because I went through this one too fast. My classmates (who have been in school for about 6 months more than me) are still working on this project.. I'm feeling a bit good about myself right now (moment of extra self absorbtion...)

I´m 20. Can you believe it? I cant. I´m in denial. I dont want to be 20. 19 was such a good year... so many new things happened, so many new people met, so many memories, some incredibly good, some not so much... but even those have a warm glow to them now. Yeh.. in denial. I´m not 20... no......

Michelle 5, originally uploaded by Mel Bjerregaard.

That´s my sister.. we were being silly and having fun. I like the result.

Can you believe that, after all this time, I can still hear just one song and turn into a jelly mess of nostalgia and sentimentality..? It´s true... I can. It´s another one of those scenarios that, when I actually really think about the details of it, I was miserable half the time when it was actually taking place. But the truth showed itself the moment I made the decision to bail. It crushed me more than I realized, and somehow I don´t think I´ve recovered. I still do wonder, sometimes, how my life would be now, if I hadn´t bailed. Where would I be? What would I be doing right now? Maybe, just maybe, I wouldnt be sitting here, dreading getting up at 5 am tomorrow morning to bugger off to school, while painting my nails garish fugly colors just because. Maybe I´d actually be doing something useful with my life. Maybe I´d be happy somewhere, completely, blissfully oblivious to every little annoying detail and memory that now buzzes about in my brain...
And why all this nostalgia..? One song. Just one. And this is the one:



This song brings back feelings of sweltering hot Antalya summer days, sleeping on 15th story balconies, swimming all day in retarded beach water that was freezing cold for the 10 inches and then unbearably sickeningly warm under that... being sunburnt over sunburn... sitting on the roof of the 16 story apartment building and singing Mother Let Me Live...
Bleh... good times...
And somehow I dont think any of the people that were there at that point in time in my life will ever read this... if they do... I love you guys :D

Oh, and this ones for Cal (again, i doubt he´ll ever see it, but for sentimentality´s sake, he´s the one that got the, as he put it, "whip sound" [lie lie lie *whip sound*... lol] forever stuck in my brain...)

HAHA look look!! Its too cool :D

Remember that song...? Ever wondered if it would actually ever happen like that..? Whether, if put into that sort of situation, you'd actually feel so strongly against evolution being taught as fact in schools? I did... And I just had a "Charlie Made A Monkey" take on it. (Almost. Thankfully I didnt jump up on my desk and start doing the monkey dance).

And all for what? Just the stupid idea that they were teaching that Denmark was 13,000 years old. But amazingly enough it made my blood boil. What to do? First thing I did when lunch break came was hightailed it to the computers as if hell in all its fury was on my tail, and now, I'm writing this.

I thought it was quite amazing how deeply ingrained all the things we learned as kids can become. I thought it was all just water off a ducks back, but apparently it's stuck, to become the guidelines whereby I think and live.

At least I'm happy I was brought up well. Thank you.

I had an epiphany the other day. It adds a whole new twist to the One-Wife vision. You see, I was thinking over the pros and cons of the one wife vision, from a single's perspective, and, to be honest, it was over all the parents who seemed to benefit the most. (This, of course, is just in general. You always have the case of the single who does nothing while the couple with kids slaves away, suporting the home and juggling the kids at the same time, but that's a different case)

Now. To look at the One-Wife vision - "the children dont just belong to the biological parents - they are our future, all of ours; we should all therefore take care of them as if they WERE our very own..."

Now thats all good and well, especially for those who happen to love children and love taking care of them. It also happens to be especially good for that couple who somehow ended up with 10 plus children and nowhere to put them. But what about those who really honestly DO want to live the one wife vision to the fullest, but really seem to have a trial with that family who keeps popping out the babies like they were paid for it, only for those babies to be dumped on that poor single at the end of the day? They want to be in the Lords highest will, and they try the hardest, but it just doesnt seem fair......

Now there is the crunch line - If they ARE, in fact, all of our children, and if we SHOULD, in fact, take them under our wing as if they were ours, then should it not be ALL of our decision whether or not those parents have those kids in the first place? Because, lets face it, if you choose to have a kid against MY will, you cant really expect me to take care of that kid, and dont pull the "One-Wife" wild card on me when you feel like your brains about to explode out of your head because your number 11 twins are bawling their heads off, the todler just crapped on the floor, your 5 year old just drew all over the wall and your teenage daughter just told you she's pregnant. ("Hey, its not that bad, we'll just pull ANOTHER one-wife wild card on THAT baby too! Praise the Lord!") Bull SHIT.

School sucks. No wait, school doesnt suck. The friggin bus sucks. Imagine sitting on a straight upright seat for 1 hour 45 minutes STRAIGHT!! Sucky sucky suckadoodledo. I dont like it. Thus is the exact reason for me perchasing a fucking expensive power drink to wake myself up (oh yeh SUUUURE... i feel REALLY powerful now - hell i even feel like a superhero!! *glug glug* caaaaarlsburg!!... *snort*). Who the hell spends 20 kroner (normal human translation: 2 euro) on half a liter of liquid? I mean, unless that half a litre is liquid nitrogen and you're gona blow the whole world up...

What to do. I have acknowledged my neglect, and I am atempting (rather furiously) to rectify it. (I tell you, I spent hours yesterday sitting in front of my computer screen, writing and re-writing blog posts, only to leave the page without saving - PURPOSEFULLY!! *you didnt miss anything. They sucked*)

Yet another week of school. Another week of getting up at 5 bloody am to catch the bloody bus to bloody school. *rolls eyes* My daddy's singing at the bowling center this weekend tho, thats the coolest cool thing to happen since french fries i tell you... and then NEXT weekend, KARAOKE!! We'll take pix. Then you get to see. See see, you get to see. You you you get to to see. Hip hip hurahhhhhhhhhh-ie.

"This is how it seems to me... life is only therapy. Real expensive and no guarantee."

Neglect has not been adhered to just for the simple sake of neglect. Furthering of the grey cells has caused afore said neglect. In other words, dont blame me, blame the government.

The all new way to play with fire... this is how you do it kids
And yayy...? For flash
Check out the smoke. It´s awesomer than awesome
Claus trying to be happy and celebrate the new year. We ran around lighting the fire works with cigarettes. No we werent drunk. Well, I wasnt in any case.
Having some deep meaningful conversation 
Watching in antisipation as the cigarette-lit firecracker takes flight (note the clenched hand - it was FREEZING!!)
Yay!!! So many pretty fire works
I´m so excitiing... I just cant stand it... (no you wont get it, dont bother. Very few people will get it)
Me snoozie hats that i got for a grand total of 4 euro.
CHEERS!! Same procedure as last year madam? Yes James... Same procedure as EVERY year.

some pix from New Years Eve... and stuff. Enjoy... and stuff...

I woke up happy, although somewhat befuddled as to what I was now to do with my life, or say, next week. Then the empty feeling began creeping back in. Christmas was over. New Years was over. The cycle has begun again. And I had to ask, yet again, as I do at the beginning of every year, "What now?" You live through the year to see the end... Just to see it start all over again - the cruel cycle. What´s it all for?