Sunday, February 13, 2011
So it's VD tomorrow. Again. This time I'm taking an active stance against it. This is just one of the things I plan on doing. (I drew this on a shirt and I'm going to wear it all day tomorrow)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
On nights like tonight I feel myself spiraling. I don't like to be alone like this. So long as I'm distracted by people hundreds of miles away on these fantastic interwebz I'm okay. Because I've spent most of my life staring at a back-lit piece of plastic, my brain equates low quality moving pictures with real life.
But as soon as people stop talking, I'm alone.
And I can't be this alone. I never could.
I can jade myself to it to a certain point, though that takes many agonizingly lonely nights, where I'm really still not totally alone. Jack Bauer used to keep me company on nights like that.
But on nights like tonight, I wonder how I'm going to last from one second to the next. Because every second feels like a searing eternity. There is no past, there is not even a future. There is only this incredibly frustrating moment, and the thousands of moments just like it, that will, of course, follow.
Some people will tell you about how they always feel alone, even in a crowd. I feel like that more often than not, myself. But what do you do, when you don't even have a crowd to feel alone in?
Then you're just alone.
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