Life is Short

"The words have been drained from this pencil..."
I didnt think it could hurt this much to be away from home... And I'm not going back. I dont know what Ive done...

"When Im pulled away from you I fall appart..." and I dont know what I'm going to do now. I try to be happy... but I'm dying it hurts so bad. I just hope it'll get better when people get here.

I miss you so much. If I could, I'd go back, just to see you again. You know who you are.

It wont be long... we'll meet again. My love for you is everlasting.

It´s happening tomorrow... and im freaked outa my witts. It´s one thing being driven to the airport by someone you know and getting on a plane to be picked up direct on the other side by someone else you know. Its a whole nother thing when you have to bus 4 hours and metro to your airport, and you still dont quite know where THAT is... butttt i suppose Ill survive.. tho i dont have the bus ticket yet. AAAAAAAAAKKKK!!!
Eiiiiiiish... so first. I go to Valencia bus station. (at around 6am or something like that) Bus up to Barcelona. Then metro to the airport. Wait a bit, then catch the plane to Istanbul where i have a stop-over before i fly to Beirut, Lebanon... ariving at 1 in the morning. yeesh... a long day.
Keep me in your prayers.. that i dont go psycho.

Oye people, Gabi has a blog. How odd is that?? It´s called Gangsta Princess. And, as some high, fly, delusional and completely smashed Japaneese wala said of his music, "this is the REAL gangsta shit!!" (referring to Gabi´s "Pink Song"). Uhhh... uhhu.
So then. Apparently, this new blog will be the hosting grounds for the products of Gabi´s time and, uh... creativity :D. So check, check, check it out... uhhu uhhu.

Now for a picture of Gabi, to enspire us for the day. Orrrrr... something like that.

Now note: Do not be fooled. Gabi doesnt ACTUALLY have a blue mohawk OR blue eyes. Thats just him trying to deceive you into thinking he could be so sexy as someone with blue eyes...
Yeah....oooookay. Lets just hope that Gabi gets around to posting some musical notes for our ear-ful pleasure sometime sooner or later.

Anyway. Not much more to say. Check it out. --> (click the link)

Gangsta Princess

eiissssh... ive got me a puter. finally. Its an acer. I hate acers. but life is made up of sweet contradictions. So. It would only make sense that I get an acer. Looks like it was meant to be.
Every friggin other offer that there was was conveniently finished just yesterday or the day before. This one was sitting all on its lonesome off to the side where you could barely even notice it. But i found it.. and took it home with meee... And now I love it. its cute. its like michelles, only soo much cooler (cuz its mine, you see. and shes black.)
I would post a pic but i cant find one. The acer site is really gay. Meh. its an acer Aspire 5715Z. Least thats what it says on the friggin thing.
A chapter of my life is finally closed. A chapter thats a year and a half long... yeh... ive been waiting that long. but its finally here. The Lord´s promises never return void.

The song is done...
You have no idea how happy I am.
I dont care if you dont like it... its not for you :D it´ll be posted on here soon enough.
Its not time yet.

We like marshmallows... and we like fires... so we made fires and ate marshmallows... and then also weiners, and we wanted to have hot chocolate but somehow it didnt really work out... yup yup. heres the pix. I thought there were more... but apparently not.

This video is amazing... it gives me shivers every time i see it, and its a really nice song too... not to mention the guys got a sexxxxxy voice... ehe...ehe...

I dont have to go to home meetings anymore. How weird is that? And for the first time in my life, the thought crosses my mind that i´ll actually miss home meetings. Its kinda like it´s become official now. With 12 days left till I leave the home, I´m suddenly unsure. Which is foolish because all of a sudden, for once, things are going good. For the first time in, God knows how long.

The money for my computer is in Spain. So its only a matter of days till I buy my computer. I´m getting all my tickets sorted out. I´m doing what I want with my life, and I´m going to a wedding, and so far, I haven´t paid for a cent of it. Then why do I feel miserable? Why does the very thought of actually being gone make me cry? I realized that, once I´m gone, I wont be able to get on the MO site anymore. That means no more word. Funny how you dont think about those things till you cant have them anymore, because until this very moment, i couldnt have given half a rats ass about my word time.

Why do I feel like I´m forsaking the best thing that´s ever happened to me? Maybe because I am. But, maybe this is the road I´m supposed to take, so that I´ll be able to really, really appreciate the full enormity of what I´ve been blessed with from the start. What I´ve taken for granted my whole life. What so many other people would die to have. I´ve been so blessed. I´m going to miss my Family. Please, please dont forget me.

Nobody said it was easy,
Its such a shame for us to part,
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start...
(Coldplay - The Scientist [click to view video])

Unusual things about you

1. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with?
Joshua (baby)
2. Where was the last place you went out to eat?
Some chineese place around Turia
3. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed?
Sangria
4. Which do you prefer - eyes or lips?
Eyes
5. Medicine, fine arts, or law?
Fine arts
6. Best kind of pizza?
anything thats not tex-mex
7. Is your bedroom window open?
uhhu
8. What is in store for your future?
Nooooo idea. Thats the best part.
9. Who was the last band you saw live?
Ehm.... cant remember.
10. Do you take care of your friends while they are sick?
Uhhu. Tho, i think im sick more often than them...
11. What is your favorite soda?
Oh gosh... i dont really like soda... anything
12. How many songs are on your iTunes?
iTunes is rubbish (HA!! take THAT!!)
13. When was the last time you purchased something over 0?
over 0? im lost.
14. Where is the last place you drove to?
the commercial center...?
15. Are you experienced?
Oh definately. In what?
16. Any historical figures that you envy?
Noop. They all suck.
17. What brand of digital camera do you own?
I dont own. Yet.
18. When was the last time you got a good workout?
Ehhhhhh... does lugging two oversized toddlers count?
19. If you need a new pair of jeans, what store do you go to first?
The first one i happen upon. Maybe Lefties or New Yorker
20. Where did your last kiss take place?
Eh... in the next room.
21. What were you doing at 11:59 PM on Monday night?
Oi. Like id remember that. Prolly watching a movie or sleeping.
22. Are you a quitter?
Uh... yes and no.
23. Who was the last person you had in your house?
MY house? you gotta be kidding. millions of ppl. And i still dont know all thier names..
24. Can you speak another language?
Not fluently.
25. How about you put your legs behind your head?
Noop.
26. When was the last time you went dancing while under the influence?
The last time I was under the influence (seeing as I always dance when im under the influence)
27. Nickname?
Mel
28. Describe what you are wearing in detail?
Blue striped new-age hippy pants, black singlet
29. What do you think about people who party a lot?
I think I´m just fine thank you :P
30. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Uh... no, DUH. Should it make ANYBODY feel uncomfortable? What an odd question.
31. Are you one of those people who obsesses over Hollister?
Whats Hollister?
32. What was the last CD you purchased?
I dont purchace cds. I´m a yucky piracy fan. I like free things.
33. What are two bands or singers that you will alwys love?
Cant say always love. I dont know if ill always love any of the bands i listen to.
34. What of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of?
Lust, Glutony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride. Hey presto!! ALL of them!
35. Did you just have to google the seven deadly sins to see what they were?
AAAhahaha... u got me. Yup. But just to refresh my memory. I wasnt sure i got it right.
36. Where is your favorite place to get coffee?
At whatever café is nearest. Spain has good coffee
37. Have you ever been offered a job?
Ehm... cant remember.
38. Have you ever stolen anything off of a road?
STOLEN off a road? like off the ground? cuz thats not stealing. Taking the top off a cars gas tank on the other hand...
39. When was the last time you dyed your hair?
in Los Belones... what a month or two ago..?
40. Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
Dont remember.
41. Have you kissed somebody in the last 2 weeks?
Eh... cant remember either. Times screwed in my brain.
42. Miss someone?
Uhhu. a few.
43. How is your last ex doing?
ehm... he´s.. fine? i think..?
44. Is there someone you want to fight?
ehm......... not right now, no

My current life in 90 questions

1. What was the highlight of your week?
uh... there hasnt been one yet.
2. Whose car were you in last?
Ours.
3. When is the next time you will kiss someone?
Hopefully this weekend.
4. What color shirt are you wearing?
Black.
5. How long is your hair?
hair line in the back, bust length in the front
6. Are you good looking?
uh, YEAH. *humility is my greatest asset*
7. Last movie you watched?
oi.. Death Race
8. Who were you with?
Myself.
9. Last thing you ate?
Smoked salmon
10. Last thing you drank?
water.
11. When was the last time you had your heart broken?
a few weeks ago
12. Who came over last?
a shiteload of ppl i dont even know
13. Are you happy right now?
Uhhh... define happy...
14. What did you say last?
It was ME, idiot. Not Michelle.
15. Where is your phone?
No idea.
16. What color are your eyes?
Blue
17. Are you left-handed?
Noop
18. Spell your name without vowels:
Mlss Bjrrgrd
19. Do you have any pets?
No. Thank god. animals are nasty.
20. Favorite Vacation?
Somewhere with nice stuff and nice ppl and nice places to go partaaaay
21. What do you dislike currently?
the friggin cold.
22. What are you listening to?
actually... nothing. honestly, my headfone´s in my ear for no reason.
23. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
all my tickets bought and in my hand.
24. What is your favorite scent?
sandalwood
25. Who makes you happiest?
oi... uh, thats classified.
26. What were you doing at midnight last night?
watching a movie..? I think.
27. When is your birthday?
February 20th
28. Who has the same phone as you?
Uh... adam did for a little while...
29. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
in Los Belones - durring summer
30. Do you read your horoscope?
uhhu. Sometimes.
31. Where was the last place you bought something?
In the kiosk in town
32. How do you feel about your hair right now?
it bothers me. I need an iron.
33. Do you bite your nails?
uhhu. not soo much tho. Nervous habit.
34. Do you have any expensive jewelery?
Eh... silver rings?
35. Do you have any expensive jewelery?
again... Eh... silver rings?
36. Myspace or facebook?
FACEBOOK FACEBOOK FACEBOOK!!
37. How fast have you driven a car?
I dont drive. *shock*
38. Have you ever smoked?
Yup
39. What was or is your favorite subject in school?
Math *shock again*
40. Do you have Verizon?
What´s Verizon?
41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for?
Lots of different types of men* and women* (note)
42. Do you have any hidden talents?
Uhhu. tons
43. Favorite Song?
eh... So Cold - Breaking Benjamin
44. Do you like to sing at all?
HELL YEAH
45. Dream Job?
Eh... a mix between fotography, modeling, singing, and art.
46. Where does most of your family live?
In Lebanon/Denmark
47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
Siblings
48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
Noooo wayyyyy
49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?
Shit - I´m late.
50. Do you drink?
Yup
51. Know any other languages?
not fluently.
52. Ever write a coded message?
Um duh. everyones done that when they were kids.
53. Have you ever been IN a wedding?
Yup. a few
54. Do you have any children?
noop
55. Did you take a nap today?
yup
56. Who has the same birthday as you?
eh... brian fucking b-rock from backstreet boys *laughs hysterically*
57. Ever met anyone famous before?
Yeah. My parents lol
58. Do you want to be famous one day?
Eh... if it means ill be rich, sure. Otherwise, neh....
59. Any Pet Peeves?
Tons of them. They change regularly too. :D
60. Are you multitasking right now?
em, if multitasking includes doing two of these things at once then yeh...
61. Do you like Britany Spears?
YUCK no. Shes blonde *pot calling kettle black...*
62. What is your least favorite chore?
cleaning up after other people
63. Last place you drove your car?
I dont have a car.
64. Ever been out of the country?
hell yeah. more than you know
65. Where were you born?
Japan - Tokyo
66. Could you handle being in the military?
Nope.
67. What is your average cell phone bill?
i dont have a cellfone.
68. Who are you thinking about right now?
Someone. Nanaurbusiness.
69. When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
Today. I do it quite often
70. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
dont make me count (not that I have that many. I´m just to tired to think)
71. Are your toes always painted?
yeh.. mostly
72. How many piercings do you have?
5. so far
73. What are you doing today?
today i cared for toddlers. 2 screaming moody toddlers.
74. Have you ever been gambling?
Eh... on a little machine yeh :D
75. When is the last time you updated your page?
Today. A few times.
76. Do you like rollercoasters?
Uhhu. tons
77. Have you ever been to disneyland or world?
noop. No way in christ im goin all the way to the states to go there.
78. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
Used to be Casper the friendly ghost. Oh wait. he´s not cartoon. Piglet. cuz hes gay.
79. Last thing you cooked?
dont make me think about that. I cook too much as is.
80. How's the weather?
Cold
81. Do you e-mail?
uhhu.. sometimes
82. What's the stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
text a dream i had and saved it to my archives. And used it as a timer for boggle
83. Last time you were sick?
the past few days
84. What states have you lived in?
none.
85. Do you wish you could move?
yes, and no. I am in any case.
86. Do you take all the QuizPox.com quizzes?
what´s those?
87. What is your dream car?
eh... something thats a convertable. And a 4x4
88. Have you ever wanted someone you cant have?
oooohhh, more than you know
89. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?
Lebanon
90. Are you happy with your life?
Eh... its not bad...

Randomness. Ahem.
This is completely useless knowledge for you, but seeing as it made me happy, and slightly nostalgic (already, seeing as I havent even left Spain yet..), I´m going to say it...
We had pallea and sangria (amongst a few other things) for lunch today. It´s been ages since I´ve had pallea and sangria together... it doesnt really get more Spanish than that (someone correct me if im wrong). I´m really going to miss Spain. What am I going to do without the Tijuana pipas, the 78 cent sangria in a plastic bottle, and the especial Mahou that apparently you can only get in restaurants and bars (least i havent found it anywhere else)? Lol. I think im gona go nutsies. Not to mention the crap ice-cream you get... I´ll never forget that either *yuck*.

Just thot to say that now BOTH Amelia and Joshua say Mel. What a milestone in their lives :D been with Joshua since he was born.. and Amelia... since she was a month and a half. Such milestones... such milestones... Amelia´s new word is "Guapa". So funny :D the doll. Anyhoos. Be happy and eat chocolate and drink cider and stuff like that.

2 more weeks till Lebanon...

I´m kinda in seventh heaven seeing as my writing portfolio on Booksie has received 101 visits and 5 comments (k fine, one of them was a self comment but STILL. Know how hard it is to get comments these days??) today. Not that you´re interested or anything. I´m just sharing the joyfullness.
Maybe its due to the fact that i posted something like 7 or 8 new pieces in a matter of a hour or two... suppose ppl musta thot id gone loony on some freak writing craze. God knows. I dont. Bup. But its cool it is.
I remember when id jump and hop joyfully because id gotten 5 visits in a day...

SNORT......
I wail... i cry... I´ll miss Spain. It´s dear to my heart you see. I like it. This has also been the best home I´ve been in in my life (If your looking for a home and speak Spanish and are a MALE then this is prolly the home for you... there´s lots of girls you see, and also lots of people to witness to, but theres also lots of girls...).
Anyways I´m really going to miss everyone. But hell, you cant have everything now can you? And this is what I have to give up. I´ll say, its the hardest thing that I´m going to have to give up in a looooooong time... maybe in my whole life. Now for the credits/names in light -

First off, Rose. I want to say a huge thanks for being my shpherd. You´re seriously the best shepherd in the history of, well, my lifetime. You were always understanding, but at the same time, you didnt compromise. You were also ALWAYS right on. That´s some gift you have... I have to admit, I did get slightly freaked once or twice but then again, when does the spirit NOT give you the heebie jeebies (course, hopefully in a good way :D)? I´ll really miss you.

Then.... hrumph. Ozie. You´ll kill me for this... but seriously... I´m going to miss you. More than you could immagine. Okay, maybe you will be able to imagine but still. I´ll miss you. I wont get mushy on you cuz you wont like it *sticks out tongue and makes mayonaise face*. But yeah... your too wierd to forget. Okkkk?? And dont forget.... I wasnt gona eat it... I was just going to taste it :D. (inside joke, people... dont bother trying to understand*rolls eyes*) Oh and yes, you took care of me when i was wayyyy too fly for my own good... and then you took care of me when i was just a tiney bit too fly for my own good... but still... i was too fly and you took care of me :D. Course... ive not said the half of what I COULD say, but sure.... I´m sure you know what it is I want to say. I´m sure ive already told you in person... a zillion times. Oh yeh you´ve still not showed me that song....

Michelle. You nigger. I think thats all I have to say to you. you NIGGER!!! hahahaha. your a Phillips - but I´ll forgive you for that because I love your daughter. And um... I like your character-ful computer... um.. and yeah... your wierd. too. Gosh... oh yeh... um, cookies. you like cookies!! And I like your camera... Oh fine fine. I like you. A little bit. Tiney tiney bit. Oh gosh... I like a nigger. What am i DOING??? Gosh... um, yeah... we had some retarded times. Right? Right. I´m going to miss you. Honest. Who am I gona moan to who wont give half a retarded rats ass??? Fuah. You have serious gifts in that area... heh... you know I love you.
Timmy. No words for you. your a nigger too. And your a pervert. Just like your brother. I´m leaving you the cane :D. Thats all I´m going to say.
Esy. I have to say something for you. Your a loud opinionated Italian. And it makes me laugh. (which is a good thing btw...) U´re also super duper strange. So was Los Belones. And the park... and sudoku thingamadoodles, and Penelopy the pig, and all those types of retarded things like Emily and Amy... Remember... Everything Makes Irrisistable Life Yucky and All My Yuckyness. We´re wierd. No one will EVER understand us. hahahahah.. its too cool.
Meanie Peenie and Vale... and becky... i like hugs. you give hugs. we´re like yin and yang. we like to hugggggggggggggg :D Im gna miss ur hugs, and Meanie, I´ll miss the salad scenarios. My back aches as I speak, uh.. .type.
Nina... I´m gna miss you sooo much... who else can i be mushy with??????????? WAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! OoOh yeh... mi gusta margarita... :P
And everyone else. Its not that I didnt write anything for you cuz i dont love you. It´s just that my fingers hurt from all this emotionated business.
You know I love you.
Knock yourselves out.
And dont hogg the house. I wana come back and see it sometime. This house is the bomb. And so are you. *sniffs, and whipes tear from eye*
I´m gonnnnna miss you.

Aright my nephew looks like such a Danard and hes even more precious than i originally thot... so heres more pix. just to prove that hes as pink and squishy as i surmised in the VERRRRRY beginning. im definately braternizing him.

yayyy well i had to steal pix off of moni´s blog to post them on mine... *gulp* but hey... ive got me a nephew. a bit of theivery isnt that bad when it comes to this... hrumph.
hes all pink and squishy. its kinda funny. and hes soooooo tiny!!!!! lol
i´m going to be the official braternizer. Seeing as I cant be the disciplinarian cuz i wont be ther for the majority of his life... fuah. wtv.
buying candy is easier than spanking i always say :D
jk jk
just wait till i get there... htere´ll be so many pix of the little bugger you´ll be swamped.